His Secret Obsession vs Make Him Worship You

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Two popular relationship guides aimed at women. Both have dramatic marketing. Here’s an honest look at what each one actually focuses on, based on the vendors’ own descriptions, and who might skip them.

Quick verdict

Best if: Understanding a partner

His Secret Obsession

A framework around a partner’s needs.

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Best if: Building closeness

Make Him Worship You

Attraction and connection ideas.

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Side by side

	His Secret Obsession	Make Him Worship You
Focus	Understanding what a male partner wants	Attraction and emotional connection
Core idea	The “hero instinct” framing (popular, not established science)	One author’s (Chris Haddad) view on connection
Best for	Women wanting to understand a partner’s needs	Women wanting to rebuild closeness and attraction
Watch out for	Persuasive sales page; possible upsells	Dramatic title; no guaranteed technique

The short answer

Both are self-help reads, not therapy. If you want a framework for understanding what a partner needs, His Secret Obsession is built around that. If you want ideas for deepening attraction and connection, Make Him Worship You is closer.

What to keep in mind

No guide can make someone commit, fall in love or feel a particular way. The useful parts of books like these are about communication, respect and noticing what your partner values.

When to get support instead

If things feel stuck, couples counselling through Relate is worth considering. If you ever feel unsafe, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247, or 999 in an emergency.

If you feel unsafe: in an emergency call 999. In the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) is free and open 24/7 on 0808 2000 247. The Men’s Advice Line is on 0808 801 0327. For relationship counselling, see Relate (relate.org.uk). Self-help guides are not a substitute for professional support.

Common questions

Is the “hero instinct” scientific?

It’s a popular framing, not established science. Read it as one perspective.

Still not sure?

Answer 2–3 quick questions and we’ll suggest the best fit.

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